


Weenie Hut General

by IrisoPage



Category: Evil Con Carne, Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Light BDSM, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Premature Ejaculation, Reader has a vagina, Reader is taller than Skarr, Reader-Insert, Riding Crops, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27104707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisoPage/pseuds/IrisoPage
Summary: An ex-evil General and his loving Partner spice things up in the bedroom.
Relationships: General Skarr/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Weenie Hut General

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I write smut for a character that hasn't been relevant since 2008.

You would never know Skarr was a retired evil general just by looking at him. 

Sure, he maniacally laughs at random and he talks to his lawn gnomes like they were soldiers, but all of this could be passed off as eccentric to any neighbors and onlookers.

It was only if you entered his house, you would find an entire room decorated with memorabilia from his 'glory days.' Really, the entire room was wall to wall covered in evil.

This never bothered you. Everyone in this town was a little bit evil anyway. You don't move into a town called Endsville without having at least a smidge of malice inside you. Heck, maybe you're evil. If you aren't, you will be by the time this town is done with you.

Perfect, because you happened to be in a relationship with Skarr.

One of the best, and slightly unexpected, things about moving in with him was that breakfast was always waiting for you when you woke up. 

You rarely want to miss out on any of his cooking, so you hurriedly get dressed and follow the trail of sweet smells to the kitchen.

Skarr was manning the griddle, whistling an old marching tune out of habit. A frilly yet fitting apron tied around his waist protects him from any batter splatters as he flips flapjacks.

You consider sneaking up on him before your eyes catch a glimpse of the kitchen table. It was usually immaculate, but this particular morning, a few shoeboxes rested on the table, along with a few scattered pictures laying about.

"What's all this?" You forgo any morning greetings as your curiosity gets the better of you.

"I signed up for a scrapbooking class!" Skarr exclaims without missing a beat. "I thought looking through these pictures beforehand might give me a bit of inspiration…  _ and I want to make sure there's nothing questionable among those pictures."  _ He never did find out what happened to that picture of himself at the Christmas party.

"Can I poke through these? Or are these 'top secret?'"

"Do you  _ really _ think I would leave something top secret lying about on the kitchen table?" He asks rhetorically, despite having done  _ exactly  _ that before. "Hmm, alright, but they aren't much to look at if I'm being honest. I already took the liberty of choosing the best photos to hang up."

_ "There's always plenty to look at if you're involved."  _ You sigh dramatically, knowing well he ate up that kind of hamminess.

"Don't try to butter me up now. I've already added that to the mix." He jokes as he sets down a plate of pancakes in front of you.

You take your seat at the table, armed with a fork in one hand as you flip through the pictures with the other.

It's mostly photos of battle mechs and evil inventions, with the occasional arch nemesis mixed in for good measure. You could probably play 'Where's codfish?' with them if you really wanted to.

"I've seen a lot of weird things in this town, but maybe everywhere is weird and I just haven't realized it." You hum in confusion at some of the more candid photos.

Skarr sets his own plate on the table and sits across from you.

"I suppose any quirks come with the job description." He declares as if this were supposedly a 'normal' job.

"That's the understatement of the century." You smile and continue to flip through the pictures, before you come across a picture of Skarr.

It's one you haven't seen before, which was rare considering he had pictures of himself pretty much anywhere. 

He clearly wasn't happy in the picture, looking rather annoyed at his Boss. Not usually out of the ordinary, but your Boss wasn't a brain (and stomach) attached to a circus bear. You've heard the stories plenty of times and didn't feel like starting Skarr off on one of his monologues this early in the morning, so you overlook that for now.

His military uniform was pretty standard as far as generals go, clean cut and prestigious without being too showy. Through the rose tinted safety goggles of love and admiration, you thought he made it work.

"I always liked the combat boots look." You say like you were just thinking aloud, more than actually addressing Skarr.

"Those old things? They've just been collecting dust in the closet." He brushes this off as no big deal.

"You still have them? Did you keep the whole uniform?" You ask curiously, though perhaps a bit  _ too  _ eagerly.

"Hmm, I suppose I did. I never bothered to put it with the rest of the collection because I refuse to buy a display mannequin.  _ Not after what happened last time."  _ He glares at nothing in particular for a long moment before his expression relaxes again. "Why do you ask?"

"Uhhh… no reason, really. Just curious." You shrug, though you noticeably start picking at your food. "I guess that means you haven't worn it lately."

"Not in the slightest. I simply haven't the occasion for such attire." He declares with a flourish of his wrist before his expression turns solemn. "Are you worried I might put that on again and run off?"

He almost looked guilty. Like the thought had crossed his mind before and became deeply disturbed by it.

"What? No, that's definitely not it."

"Because I assure you, if I ever run off, I'm taking you with me!" He announces, sounding far too maniacal for breakfast.

"Thank you, Reginald." You smile, appreciating his momentary sentiment. "But that's definitely the last thing on my mind right now."

"Then, what  _ is _ on your mind?"

"I don't know if this is a breakfast topic. It's probably more of a dinner topic."

"How so?"

"It's closer to bedtime."

"Oh!... Oh?" You can see him thinking hard as he tries to figure out exactly what that means.  _ "Oh…?" _ It's still not clicking. 

Thinking of how to explain it only makes you more flustered, but you couldn't just drop it now. You've never really suggested anything outside of your vanilla chai latte intimate life, not that it wasn't still incredibly delicious.

Skarr already thought he was the dominant one, at least in bed. Things went smoother when you didn't remind him that you were the one telling him what to do and where to touch most of the time. You weren't sure if he had it in him to be dominant without any sort of prompting or guiding. You can only wonder if putting on that uniform would put him in a different mindset.

_ "Well, I…"  _ You start, nervously twiddling your fingers. "I know we don't usually plan out our  _ bedroom excursions _ too far in advance…"

"But?" Skarr prompts further.

_ "Buuuuuut… I was thinking…"  _ You stagger your words, as if that would buy you time to get out of this. "Well, I suppose if the moment was right…"

Skarr watches with a determined look in his eye as the gears turn in his head to figure out what the heck you're going on about. Here you were bringing up sex at breakfast, nervously playing with the edges of the photo, asking if he still had his uniform...

"I mean, maybe if you  _ had  _ an occasion…"

Something finally clicks in his head. He smirks so hard you could practically hear it as it stretches across his face. You're still rambling through the same three excuses when you finally notice his knowing gaze. 

" _ Shit, wait, I didn't mean-"  _ You attempt to backtrack before it's too late. "This is all just a misunderstanding!" You declare. "Forget I said anything!" You deny. "How about you rustle up some more pancakes, hmm?" You strongly suggest.

You might just have a chance at sneaking out of this.

_ "You want me to wear the uniform, don't you?"  _ He leans his elbow on the table to move closer to you.

Or not.

You try to think a way out of this conversation that doesn't involve you flying out the door and going to work early. Nothing else comes to surface and you have to accept that you've been caught red handed.

_ "So?"  _ You turn defensive, moreso in annoyance of having been found out so quickly than actually being offended.

Skarr laughs, so much that a tear forms in his eye. "My! I didn't think you were into that sort of thing." 

"What  _ 'sort of thing?'  _ I don't have a thing. You have a thing. Is it warm in here?"

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with having a 'thing.' Especially when  _ I  _ happen to be a part of it."

This was the smuggest you've ever seen him.

"I'm very happy with our intimate life, buuuuuut... the thought may have crossed my mind once or twice." You try to say confidently, feeling like admitting this would make you look better than trying to deny the obvious again.

_ "Tell me more." _

"Hmm, wipe that look off your face first." You glare daggers, though they only get caught in the heartstrings floating above him.

_ "What look? I'm not making a look."  _

Skarr is absolutely making a look. The look that only an egotistical lovesick fool could possibly make when you've complimented him so dearly.

_ Smug Bastard. _

"Well, I wouldn't mind it if you were a bit rougher with me sometimes." You start sinking into your chair as you speak, seeing as how most of your dignity had already been tossed out the window. "Don't get me wrong, making love with you is the best part of my day, but, ah…"

"You want more of a  _ rush _ ?" He practically purrs out his words.

"Maybe I should just write this down for you." You slump as you look away from him.

"Oh, I don't mean to tease you so much,  _ though it's far easier to do than I expected it to be." _

_ "Hmmph."  _ You snort, though it does nothing except prove that he was flustering you.

"But I am interested in your input. A bit of a 'performance' review, if you will."

"Since when do you and reviews go together?" Your embarrassment momentarily fades as you find an opportunity to turn the teasing back on to Skarr.

"Are you saying I don't take criticism well!? I can handle any critique you could possibly think of!" He crosses his arms over his chest as he turns his nose up.

_ "I don't like the way you finger me." _

Skarr's face starts to twist into something unrecognizable, clearly having flashbacks to any of the times he's tried to do so. He inhales like he's about to defend his superior fingering technique, but deflates for the sake of winning the first point he made.

_ "Noted." _

"Exactly." You huff, knowing full well he wouldn't accept any sort of insult to his skills.

"A review shouldn't just be criticisms anyway." He points out, though he's just reaching for another compliment.

"You have a cute o-face." 

"Let me get you more pancakes." He finds an excuse to get up from the table and back to the shielded area in front of the stove.

He couldn't take criticism OR being teased either.

_ "And…  _ I always thought it was endearing the way you always put your underwear back on afterwards, because you don't like feeling-"

"We're getting off topic!" He interrupts as he straightens up from his post at the griddle.

"I like this topic better."

"We're not here to talk about me.  _ You  _ wanted to talk about  _ you  _ and  _ your needs." _ He points the spatula at you accusingly before he actually uses it for its intended purpose.

"Less snuggling, more ruffling." You explain simply, as if that should cover all the bases.

"Oh, and what does this 'ruffling' entail?" He makes fingers quotes before he starts stacking fresh pancakes on your plate. He sets the utensils down and makes his way back to his seat, but not before leaning down in your ear.  _ "And what does it have to do with my uniform?" _

You almost jump at his sudden closeness, but retreat into your slouching position once he sits across from you again.

"For your information, it's not  _ just  _ about the uniform. Though, it does help…" You start, hoping that might justify why you were bringing it up. "It's about  _ you _ in the  _ uniform." _

"I'm not following."

You breathe deeply before letting out a disgruntled moan. If you lean back any further, you would fall right off your chair. You start explaining slowly, becoming quieter and more embarrassed the more you say.

"I want… to have…  _ sex-with-mssfar." _

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Sex with… _ Hmm. _ "

"One more time?"

"Sex with General Skarr! There, I said it! I want to have sex with General Skarr!" You exclaim in desperation before you shrink in embarrassment at your own confession.

Skarr cackles wildly for a brief moment before looking completely serious. "You had me, then you lost me."

You resist the strong urge to facepalm, figuring you weren't going to get any further if you kept hemming and hawing about it.

"I… would like to act out a scene… where you're my leader." 

Skarr is still puzzled by this request.

"You're always talking about your power fantasies, maybe I want a bit of a taste too." You shrug, having a fairly decent point.

"I do not always-" Skarr starts before catching himself again, not wanting to ruin such a historical event for his lovelife. "Okay, so what exactly would this entail? Or do you still think you should write it down?"

You brush off his teasing in exchange for a shrug. "You give me some orders, you make sure I'm respectful, You can slap me around…  _ if you want." _

"I never took you for a masochist."

"I'm not a masochist, at least, not enough to write an entire tango about it…" Though you hate to admit that song was probably relatable in more ways than one. "I just might enjoy a bit of roughness and some sternness, and you're the authority on how strict it is."

"Oh, so this is about discipline, is it?" He begins to smirk again.

"I wouldn't object to some  _ corporal punishment." _

You almost swear you hear Skarr get a boner over this, so you quickly pipe up with a rather important regulation.

"Only one condition."

"Which is?"

_ "I'm not calling you Daddy." _

If looks could kill.

"I would never suggest such a thing! Where did you even get such an idea!?"

"Mmm Hmm, and my name is Hoss Delgado." You declare sarcastically. "Volume control is not your strongest suit." You remind him, having heard countless oddities that he thought was spoken under his breath.

"You know… I think you're the one with volume control issues when you wake up the neighbors at night." 

_ "Aaaaannnd, he's back…" _

You slide off of your chair so that you're now sitting on the floor in an effort to avoid his stare. Your limited privacy doesn't exactly last long because he follows right after you and seats himself under the table as well.

"Someone is getting shy again." He chuckles as he scoots closer to you.

You don't have much elsewhere to go from here, though you still try your low-effort way of avoiding him. You liked making him work for it anyway.

"It's not like you're helping any." You huff, though you can't help but start to smile.

He's quick to corner you and brings his face closer to yours, causing you to back away until you're laying against the kitchen tile. He always kept it rather clean anyway, otherwise you would have moved this elsewhere by now.

"I'm glad you told me this."

"Going to put this fantasy in your ego stroking spank bank?" You ask, knowing well he would probably drop this conversation into a later one.

"Well, I suppose that  _ is  _ one reason." He admits sheepishly.

He hovers over you and you wrap your arms around him, inviting him to press against you.

Skarr leans in for a kiss and you meet him halfway. He's warm, and not just from cooking pancakes. There's sweat already dripping from his brow, though it seldom phases you after you've been covered in it after certain activities. He breaks away, allowing you to catch your breath as his lips trail down your neck.

"This is exactly why I didn't want to discuss this over breakfast." You hum as you tilt your head up to give him better access.

"It wouldn't have been the first time we've started getting frisky on the kitchen floor anyway." Skarr sighs as he reminisces.

"You're going to make me late for work, Reginald." 

"Hmm, consider this your first lesson in discipline then." He smiles in a devilish way as he pulls away from you. "I assume you wouldn't touch yourself at work, but now I'm enforcing that rule."

"Oh no, how ever will I not do the thing I've never done before because it's weird and my breaks are unpaid anyway?"

"Just putting the idea in your head." He staggers out from underneath the table and helps you up from the floor.

"Thanks for breakfast… and the hickey." You smile as you start putting your jacket on and gather your work things.

"Consider it a parting gift." He admires his handiwork quite proudly.

"Here's my parting gift."

You grab Skarr by his shirt, lifting him up just inches off the ground to kiss him. He lets you dangle him helplessly for a moment before he makes an attempt to kiss back. It's clear he's enjoying letting you do most of the work, becoming quite weak under your fiery smooch. Once you pull away and put Skarr back down, he stumbles a step back as he gasps for air.

"Don't miss me too much now." You shoot him a quick fingergun as you step out the door.

"H-hehe, I'll try!" He waves rather enthusiastically as you leave.

Work is work, as usual.

You usually have terrible ideas in your brain at work, but you hate to admit to the one Skarr put there. You've never considered rubbing one out at work before, but you're definitely thinking it's a concept you could get behind.

_ Damn you, Reggie. _

By the end of a mind numbing day, you've completely forgotten any thoughts of jacking off at work, horiness, or combat boots.

You enter the house and squint your eyes at the lack of light. You flip the light switch and find that it doesn't work. Logically, you think that either a fuse blew or  _ someone  _ forgot to pay the electric bill  _ again. _ You carefully make your way inside and follow the soft light coming from the living room.

The fireplace is lit, casting a warm glow across the walls. A few pieces of furniture have been precariously moved around. The large armchair that was usually in the corner of the room now took center stage in front of the fireplace. You spot a leg dangling from one of the arms and address it accordingly.

"Skarr? Why are all of the lights off?"

There's a moment of a quiet between the two of you, the fire crackling being the only sound in the house.

The chair spins around and you find Skarr lounging across it. He was wearing his old uniform, which was a lot more form fitting than what it looked like in the pictures. A sultry look was plastered to his face as he held a riding crop in hand. You definitely don't remember seeing one of those anywhere in his room.

_ "Do you like what you see?" _

He approaches you rather rigidly, though when he speaks, you can still detect a hint of sheepishness. 

"I was thinking about what we discussed earlier, and I thought I would so graciously indulge you."

It's considerate, but far too planned out for him to have thought of this all on his own. 

"Please tell me you did not check out Fifty Shades of Beige at the library and read it while I was at work."

His eye glances away from you and tries to peek behind him, but he's quick to correct himself to not give himself away.

_ "What!?  _ I did nothing of the sort!" He steps in front of the side table next to the chair, clearly hiding at least three books behind himself. 

"If there's a dvd on that table-"

"Now, now, it's not really relevant at the moment!" He quickly assures, then clears his throat.  _ "Darling." _

"You didn't have to do all of that so suddenly."

"Ohohoho, there's no need to be so modest about it." He lowers his head in mock humility before he puffs up again. "I wanted to do it."

"How long did it take you to cobble this together?"

"Well, you just made it sound so interesting this morning, so I got right to work on it!" That meant this was the only thing he did today. "I thought you might like to try it." 

He glances away, nervously wringing the riding crop in his hands as he awaits your approval.

"I  _ would  _ like to try it."

_ "Really?"  _ His face lights up as he looks up at you.

"I would." You assure him as you lean down for a quick kiss, though you can tell he wished it lasted longer. "I  _ have  _ been thinking about you throughout the day." You speak quietly into his ear as you wrap your arms around him. "I  _ was  _ tempted to touch myself earlier, but I figured I would let you do that."

_ "If  _ you've earned it, that is." Skarr chuckles, wagging a scolding finger at you.

"Oooh, I can't wait." You purr as you straighten up and mime handing him the metaphorical reins. "What's first?"

"Do I have your consent to play with you?" He asks first and foremost.

"You do."

"And do you know what your safeword is?"

"Mercy."

_ "Mercy. Good, good…"  _ He nods approvingly. "Follow me."

"Yes, sir!" 

You follow at a respective pace behind him as he leads you into the bedroom. Several LED candles light up the room. Some still have sale price stickers on them, which you elect to ignore.

_ "Now strip." _

You've barely begun to take off your clothes when Skarr interrupts.

_ "Slowly." _

You dramatically make a show of removing your clothes as slowly as humanly possible.

"Well, now you're just being a smart aleck." He huffs as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"You left it up to interpretation." You shrug innocently.

Skarr sharply exhales at your defiance, though he makes no further orders as you make yourself indecent.

"Now fold them and put them in the basket." He orders as he uses the riding crop to point to the laundry basket.

You weren't sure if this was his attempt at telling you what to do, or if he just didn't feel like picking them off of the floor later, but you do as instructed.

You figured he would need a bit of guiding anyway, despite however many smutty novels he may have read while you were at work. So what better way to do so than to egg him on and appeal to his more _controlling_ _side?_ You want to make him work for it.

"Let me look at you." Skarr hums, quite pleased with himself over his own orders. He approaches you, a hand cups your chin for just a moment, but it leaves quickly to attend to business elsewhere.

The riding crop pats across your shoulders, making you straighten up as Skarr circles around you. He pats along your behind and thighs, as if he was checking for quality. A hand smooths over your bare ass before giving it a firm squeeze. The tip of his riding crop smooths down your back as he 'inspects' you. 

_ "Kneel." _

"You first."

Skarr's smug look deflates once he processes what you just said. His unibrow raises up while his lips droop as he stares in confusion.

_ "Excuse me?"  _ He phrases this in a way that suggests you ought to correct yourself.

"You heard me."

His brow instantly furrows as he grits his teeth. "It seems I've got a  _ brat _ in my ranks."

_ "So it does."  _

"The General does not tolerate any lip from the likes of his underlings."

The riding crop whips through the air before pointing directly at you,  _ your last warning. _

"You sure seemed to like my lips earlier." 

You've barely finished your retort when the crop connects with your skin. The sharp, stinging sensation spreads over ass as you're thoroughly smacked, alternating between asscheeks as he whips you. Finally, the crop pulls back, though still ready to be used again if needed.

"Will there be any other comments?"

"No, sir." 

_ "That's better." _ He reaches up to your face and delivers, while not quite a slap, a rough pat to your cheek. "Now assume the position."

"And that would be?"

"Face down."

The crop guides you to the bed. You almost consider faceplanting into it, but that would only leave you vulnerable to more discipline. Another time, perhaps.

You climb onto the bed and get onto all fours. Skarr usually preferred doing things face to face, so it was a bit surprising for him to want you  _ not  _ to look at him in all his glory. Oh, but the unexpected orders were all part of the thrill of the General.

"Hands behind your back." 

You obey, lacing your arms behind your back and allow your front half to collapse into the mattress. The riding crop slaps against your thigh.

"Present yourself to me."

You shakily spread your legs, the awkward but not painful position intentionally making your bruised ass perk up in the process. 

"Ah, this is quite a good look for you. Though perhaps I should punish you for dripping all over the sheets…" The tip of the crop rests on your back as he remains standing behind you. "...but I suppose I can't blame you too much. You do look to be enjoying yourself.  _ Isn't that right?" _

The crop glides along your neck before it tilts your chin up to look back at him, difficult with your face being pressed into the pillow.

"I'm enjoying myself, sir."

_ "Wonderful."  _ He purrs as he gives an encouraging pet on your head. His gloved hand glides down your body, only stopping to grope at certain sensitive areas as his other hand reaches for your  _ most  _ sensitive area.

"Not to worry, I've been practicing." He assures.

You're almost afraid to ask  _ how  _ he practiced.

A finger rubs against your clit, something you always had to show him how to do properly. Though, it's far more careful with its movements than usual. Occasionally, he pulls his hand back to admire the wetness you're leaving on it. Only when you've successfully coated his entire glove in your fluid, does he dare to press a finger in. He curls it so deliciously, but you can't help but long for his other fingers as well.

_ "Sir." _

"You want more, don't you?" The General asks knowingly. He presses against you, and you can feel his rock hard erection against your sore ass.

"I want more, General.  _ Please?  _ I need you."

"You never disappoint." He smiles as he starts grinding against you. "Look at you, begging for my cock. This would be a pathetic display if I weren't so flattered."

"Only for you, General."

Your wetness spreads across the crotch of his pants, making it easier for him to grind against you, and much faster. His breathing gets heavier as his fingers dig into your side.

"What a lovely thing to say my little… my little,  _ er, my scrumptious, ah…"  _ Skarr's voice suddenly falters.

You didn't think  _ that  _ would be the one he tripped up on, but you knew he was a stickler for wording his speeches correctly. You were considering helping him out or just moving things along, when you finally noticed that he stopped moving. It was so abrupt that you hadn't even noticed at first, though he doesn't release his grip on you.

_ "Mercy." _

He barely squeaks out your safeword, though it's quite clear.

You pick your head up from the mattress and kneel in a more modest position as you turn to look at him.

"Skarr, are you alright?"

_ "I'M FINE!"  _ Skarr snaps loudly before realizing his volume. "I just… I just need a moment, is all! Don't go anywhere! Stay hot for me!"

Before you can say anything else, he books it out of the bedroom and barricades himself in the bathroom.

You decide to give him a minute of alone time. That turned into two minutes. That turned into five minutes. That started turning into ten minutes. His 'moment' started getting concerningly long, so you get up and decide to check on him. Despite being stashed in the bathroom, you can hear him quite clearly.

"Come on, come on already! Why now!?" 

You knock on the door. 

"DON'T COME IN!"

"Are you alright in there? Is this a stomach thing?"

"It most certainly is not!" He sounds offended by the mere accusation, so that likely wasn't the case.

"If you told me what's wrong, I might be able to help you."

"I'm… I'm fine, dearest! I just need another minute or two!"

"You said that  _ ten  _ minutes ago." You point out. "Skarr, just tell me what's wrong, because I'm considering calling it a night." You didn't want to pressure him into anything, but you refused to continue any scene where he might have started getting uncomfortable.

Skarr mulls this over for a minute before answering. "It's…  _ embarrassing." _

"If I recall, you've seen  _ me  _ embarrassed plenty of times." You remind him, though you didn't want to make the conversation about you. "No matter what it is, you're still my General."

You hear him whine softly behind the door, but thankfully, he unlocks it and opens it a crack. "Promise not to laugh?" 

"When have I ever- Okay, I promise not to laugh." You sigh, going along with whatever got him out the bathroom the quickest.

He slowly opens the door and braces himself for your worst judgement. You wait for him to say whatever it was that was causing him such distress, but it never comes.

"You… you gonna tell me what's got you in such a tizzy?" 

"Tell you!? Just look at me!" He exclaims as his arms flail upwards.

You look him up and down, then down and up again for good measure. You're still oblivious to whatever he's trying to convey.

Skarr grips the bridge of his nose before he grits his teeth and leans in close to you.

_ "My. Pants. Are. Dripping. With. SEMEN." _

You had to use all of your willpower not to laugh after you had promised not to. You take a deep breath to compose yourself before addressing the matter.

"And?"

" _AND? I_ _finished. Done. Fetnito."_ He emphasizes by waving his hands around. "I can't get it back up again."

You suddenly grab Skarr by his shoulders, his agitated expression quickly turns into one bewilderment.

_ "Skarr."  _ You start slowly. "It's fine, really. I know you're embarrassed, but this can happen sometimes, especially when you try something new."

_ "But, I-" _

You place your finger over his lips to shush him for the time being. "I'm sure you wanted things to be perfect,  _ and I always love that about you _ , but it's not always going to play out like in your smutty books. Actually, those things are probably  _ extremely unrealistic,  _ at best." You finally roll your eyes at the subject. "If you want to end the scene, or end things completely, you can. I'm not mad or anything."

You remove your finger from his lips and another whine escapes him.  _ "But I was looking so forward to shagging you." _

You smile and wrap your arms around him, pushing him back into the doorframe as you lean in close to him.

"How about my General gives me an order to help him out, hmm?" You offer as you straighten out his uniform for him and adjust his hat. "Then we can see if anything happens after a few minutes?"

"Well, I suppose that  _ could  _ work…" He rubs at his chin thoughtfully, though he's blushing over your sudden directness. "What the heck, might as well give it another go!"

"And that's why you're in charge, sir." You give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Let's go back to bed."

He seems to feel less tense when you grab his hand and lead him back into the bedroom.

"Perhaps I, err… perhaps  _ The General  _ should take care of you first." He offers, not wanting to seem so selfish.

"With all due respect, General, I was dead set on blowing you." You dial it back on the teasing, though only a bit. "If that would please you."

You can hear Skarr gulp as he tries to find his 'Top Voice.'

"I  _ suppose _ my underling has a good idea once in a while." He chuckles.

"Then allow me to serve you, My General." You bow slightly.

You guide him to sit on the bed, avoiding any wet spots you had made earlier. Your hands slide over his pants, and find that he wasn't exaggerating when he said they were dripping. You elect to ignore any lukewarm semen that gets on you and kneel between his legs.

Skarr leans back and spreads his legs as you work on unbuckling his pants, letting out a soft moan once you free his cock.

You can't exactly choke on a soft member, but you don't let that discourage you. You start by planting a light kiss to the tip as you look up at him. People never really look that good from the angle you're kneeling at, but you can tell he appreciates your efforts.

You stick your fingers in your mouth to lube them, then begin to gently stroke him. Skarr always gets so squirmy when you jack him, and the General does not disappoint.

You lightly close your hand around him as you start to suck on the tip. It's much easier on the jaw and you wonder if you should compliment him, but decide to save it for another time, just in case it flusters him again.

While one hand works the shaft, the other starts massaging his balls. You can feel him hardening under your touch, and you place him in your mouth before he has a chance to poke your eye out. You hum as you bob your head, but you're quickly interrupted by a hand pushing you back.

"E-enough!" Skarr orders, though you can tell it's hesitant. "Quickly, get into position." 

You pull away from him, there's a quick scramble for you to climb on to the bed and have Skarr end up behind you, but you're able to sort yourselves out.

"How's my little biscuit holding up, hmm? I'm not being too rough now, am I? I wouldn't want to break my new toy with all the fun I'm having." His glove smooths across your back, the cool leather a welcome contrast to your once burning skin. 

"I'm loving it, sir. Keep going,  _ please."  _ You glance back at him with pleading eyes and are rewarded when a hand pushes your face back into the mattress.

_ "Good."  _ He leans over to plant a quick kiss to your neck. "Because I'm far from being done with you yet." He's definitely regained his confidence back, only further supported by the way those gloved hands grip at your thighs again. "I'm going to plow you now.  _ Very hard. Very quickly." _

_ "Please do, sir. I'm so wet for you." _

Your neediness is rewarded when Skarr pushes his throbbing cock into you.

"Oh, now that's wonderful." His commanding voice falters for a moment, practically purring as he savors your wet warmth. You can feel him twitch inside of you before he even starts moving.

Skarr holds tightly to your hips as thrusts into you. His desperate noises quickly overshadowing the sound of his balls slapping against you. Your General kindly reaches a hand under you to help you along. The warm leather adds a tantalizing texture to your clit as it gently rubs at you.

You're afraid he might be starting to lose steam when he grabs the back of your head and pulls you up to look at him.

_ "Who do you serve?" _

"You, sir."

This earns you a smack on the ass.

_ "Try again. Who do you serve?" _

"I serve Skarr." You offer.

_ Smack. _

_ "Do I have to repeat myself again?" _

"General Skarr! I serve General Skarr!"

_ "Now that's what I wanted to hear!"  _

He desperately ruts into you, gloved fingers digging into your side as he uses all of strength to fuck you. With each thrust, he buries his full length into you, slamming into your sweet spot each time.

You feel the heat overtake you, as if any of your previous pain has melted away into pleasure. You let any other thoughts dissipate as you're fucked through your climax. You can only feel your General.

You squeeze around Skarr's cock as you cum and you hear him gasp in surprise. His warm seed spills into you as he lets out a low droning moan. His expression softens as his cock does the same.

Skarr pants heavily, absentmindedly rubbing his hand along your back as he catches his breath. He pulls out, his cum spills out of you and drips down your thighs. He attempts to tidy you up for a moment, though there's far too much to clean without help.

He lays down beside you and holds out his arms as an invitation. You happily accept, taking his hat off and putting it on your own head before you cuddle up to him.

"I simply  _ must _ kiss you now." He purrs as he nuzzles his nose against yours.

You close the distance between the both of you, locking lips as you clumsily try to undress him. You manage to get his jacket open and his pants down around his ankles, but you have to seperate in order to get him fully comfortable. His uniform would need a complete cleaning overhaul, so it gets tossed aside for now.

"Hmm, maybe I should have taken off these gloves earlier. There's almost a perfect handprint back there."

He removes his gloves and presses a hand to one of your ass cheeks. They're still a bit tender, but his careful rubbing wasn't uncomfortable.

"I thoroughly enjoyed myself, General." You assure.  _ "And you want to know my favorite part?" _ You lean in close to his ear, barely grazing his skin with your lips before you proclaim.

"You. Came.  _ BUCKETS." _

Skarr only huffs quietly in response, clearly embarrassed, but fortunately too spent to pop another boner. He's already melted into his usual 'can't say the word pussy out loud' flustered self.

"I've never felt you come that hard before." You gently tease as you bring your face close to his.

"Well, I, suppose I was just really into the moment there." He murmurs meekly.

"You're telling me." You laugh, much to Skarr's further embarrassment.

He clears his throat before addressing you again. "Can I get you anything?"

"Maybe in a few minutes. I just want to cuddle."

"With pleasure!"

He happily cuddles up to you, resting his head on your chest as he assumes more of a 'little spoon' position. Though before you relax too much, a thought pops into your mind.

"Skarr?"

"Hmm, yes, butterbiscuit?"

"Why didn't the lights turn on when I came in?"

"Oh, I, uh, switched the breaker off before you came home." He assures.

"So when I get up to go to the bathroom, all of the other rooms should still have power?"

"They certainly  _ should." _

_ "...You forgot to pay the electricity bill, didn't you?" _

Skarr only laughs nervously in response.

"How serendipitous that it would turn off right when you needed mood lighting."

"Excellent timing, wouldn't you say?" He smiles, looking awkward as ever.

You silently mourn the food in your fridge that has probably gone to waste by now and pull your lover closer. "You're glad I love you."

_ "Am I ever." _


End file.
